The last week has been an eye opener, I slowly watched as he scanned through the guide on the TV, then decided to scan channels one by one. I said nothing. Then he asked my daughter to read something to him after looking at it for several minutes. I said nothing. Yesterday he make a comment that Mom was hiding out at her sister's house, this is a dreaded loaded response.
"Daddy, Mom passed away almost a year ago now." He was silent.
"Did you hear me?"
"Yes, but you are lying." He rubbed his chin and raised an eyebrow.
I gave him her obituary, he starred at it for several moments, "It's dark in here and I can't read it." I turned the lights on.
Again he handed it to my daughter to read, he spat, "Why didn't anyone tell me?"
"Daddy I did, you were here when it happened. She passed here at home."
An argument ensued and I removed myself from the situation. Later returning to confront him about being able to read. He told me he could not read any longer and the words made no sense to him.
Keeping up with what he is losing is hard, people with ALZ can hide things very well, they think that no one will notice. No longer can you just hand him his meds to take. You must stand there and make sure just as you would with an obstinate child. All the while making sure you don't treat them as a child. You don't discount the fabricated stories they tell, you do not correct them or you are in for a battle. I decided to say, "Well, I never knew that."
It is his world, your world and the two will never be the same again. Roll with it, yes you will anger, but temper that anger by removing yourself. It is hard, if someone tells you it is not they are flat out lying or their parent is not as far along as my father. Another problem is severe paranoia over their money, I keep the checkbook handy to show him what is going on how his money is spent on his living expenses. He is angry that bread is no longer a quarter, and pants are no longer two dollars.
Keep all your receipts for everything so that they have them, it is a comfort and I can't tell you why. I have been called so many names I can't count them on one hand, screamed at, and made to feel as if I did not matter. Let it go, if you don't it will drive you insane, because in ten minutes he won't remember saying anything.
